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To Do List for the Spouse of an Ovarian Cancer Patient

When you wife is diagnosed with ovarian cancer, you automatically add to your role of husband father that of caregiver. While this may carry some nebulous connotations at times, there are a number of distinct responsibilities you must be aware of; perhaps surprisingly to some, many of these responsibilities are directed at your own wellbeing!

To make your new stage in life a bit easier, here is a to-do list for the spouse of an ovarian cancer patient:

* Build a relationship with your wife's doctors and members of the medical team in charge of her treatments. Understand the scope of the treatment she will undergo, the side effects she is likely to experience, and the kind of help and support she will need.

* Enlist help of family and friends. With your wife's input, make a list of individuals she is comfortable with when it comes to receiving help. While she may get along famously with your mother, she might not want her mother in law in the house cleaning and directing. Instead, she might to entrust this task to her best girlfriend. While you could (and will) take on a large share of the day to day responsibilities that come with running a household, keep in mind that as a breadwinner you also have responsibilities you need to fulfill to keep the family fiscally afloat!

* Understand your limitations and outsource. If your wife is very particular about laundry and you just don't have the knack, farm out this responsibility to someone else. Pay a college student a few dollars to do the laundry to your wife's exact specifications. The student will be happy for the pocket money, your wife will be content with the quality of her wash, and you will are not burdened by trying to live up to expectations you do not want or just cannot meet.

* Be honest about your availability for and skill of common tasks your wife usually does: cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids and whatever else comes to mind. Remember that as a spouse of an ovarian cancer patient it is first and foremost your duty is to your wife but you will be incapable of meeting her emotional and social needs if you are dead tired from over extending yourself. Enlisting help - both professional and personal - will go a long ways to meeting everyone's needs.

* Look for innovative ways of doing things. If dishes somehow seem to be a sore point of contention, switch temporarily to paper good and eliminate any problems you are having in this respect. In the same way, if your wife suddenly seems to become stressed because the household is seemingly disordered, spend a few extra dollars and hire a housekeeper for dusting, straightening, and other such tasks. Invest in a gardener to do the basic maintenance and keep things running.

While there are a number of other do's that you are undoubtedly encountering, it is crucial that you keep your health and your emotional availability at this time of crisis. If you are trying to do too much yourself, the odds are good that eventually your will run out of energy, patience, and willingness to deal with the situation.