Role Reversal With Parental Care
September 8th, 2010

For the first half of your life, maybe even more, your parents are the ones that take care of you. When the time comes, it may be hard for either of you to come to grips with the fact that the roles have changed.
In fact, the roles may have reversed entirely. Instead of them caring for you as a baby, you are doing all the things that they once did – bathing, helping to use the toilet, feeding, dressing, etc.
However, despite all your preparations, it may be hard to figure out whether or not you are ready to shoulder the responsibility or even have an idea of what it involves. Here are some things to consider when you are making your decisions.
Your parents are the ones that made you who you are today. They changed your diapers, bathed you, and checked on you throughout the night, made sure your home was safe, and so on. They may have gone without luxuries so that they could give you the best, and they strived to make your life easier than the one they had as a child. With all the sacrifices that they made, you might consider making some similar ones to take care of them.
If your parents are going to live with you, you may need to make some accommodations to make them comfortable. Getting a hospital bed, installing a wheelchair ramp, or even getting a home nurse to stop in, are all options. Remember, you should treat them like an honored member of your family, not a burden. They may already feel guilt for needing you to help them, and there is no reason to make it worse. Consider talking to their doctors and therapists to find out things that you can do at home to make easier and more pleasant for them.
Unfortunately, however, not everyone’s situation allows them to be able to take care of their parents at home. Their schedules may not allow them to be at home as much as they need to, or their parent’s condition may be more than they can realistically handle. If this is the case in your family, you should do your best to find the best facility possible to care for them, and take time to see them there. Take time to volunteer and check up on the facility as much as possible.
In nursing homes, there is always the possibility of abuse and neglect. The only way that you can be sure that your loved one is protected from these is to see how they are doing personally. Take time to visit, read reports on the nursing homes, and talk with your loved one. Become and active spokesperson in seeing that their needs are met in a timely fashion.
This can be a difficult time for all of you, as life comes around full circle. Simply think of it as a way to pay your parents back for all the years that they took care of you, and as setting the example for your children of how you would like to be treated.

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