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Death Of A Child

There are many scenarios regarding death - death of a pet, death of a parent, death of a spouse, death of a partner, death of a business associate, death of a friend, death of a peer, death of a schoolmate, death of a military serviceman or woman. All of these scenarios are devastating and difficult to cope with but none more so than the death of a child especially if that child is your child, your grandchild, your niece or nephew, brother or sister, friend, peer or schoolmate. Most of us would agree that in death we all would hope that there is some hierarchy regarding timing - the oldest go first the very youngest goes last. We all would want to have our fair share of good times here on earth. No sane person wants to see a child suffer or die. The sad fact is the children do die. They die as young as in vitro and during the birth process. Death is difficult to grasp or cope with at any time, but when the death is that of a child we all need special coping mechanisms in order to deal with it in a healthy manner.

When a child dies it is not just a physical death, there is the death of a future that has been planned and hoped for that dies too.

Like any other death, a child's death may come suddenly, or it may be expected as is the case with chronic illness, terminal illness or a serious accident in which there is time to prepare for the inevitable. In each of the before mentioned cases those who love or care for the child has time to prepare or not in an emotional way for the physical death and for the death of the future of that child. Having time to prepare can be a blessing or not depending on the particular case and on the individual needs of the one who needs to do the preparing.

Just like in any other death arrangements still need to be made for the medical care during the pre-death and after death care. Funeral arrangements also need to be attended to. In times of grief these preparations are often more than one can bear.

The grief one feels as a parent morning the impending or actual death of a child is second to none as it is described as losing part of oneself. A spouse's death is a deep grief, but a child is blood of your blood and flesh of your flesh; no matter how the child became yours (biological, adoption or foster).

Parents dealing with the death of a child soon find out that it is a lifelong process. The death of the child will always remain a void in the family structure and remembered during future family events and situations.

The reaction to death is not the same one person to the next. No two parents will react in quite the same way to the news of their child's death. Everyone will grieve in their own unique way too.