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Parenting Skills Include Controlling Your Reactions

As a parent we need to control our reactions to our children's choices and actions. We have to avoid a meltdown so our children can avoid one. Many times as a parent you may feel out of control. Controlling those negative emotions may help your role as a parent and raise healthier children both mentally and physically. Blame, guilt, anger, and other negative emotional reactions are ineffective parenting tools. They will leave you feeling stressed out and angry for hours. It can affect your relationship with your child and with your spouse. You can break the cycle of provocation, reaction, and regret. As an adult you can become a good role model for your children. Learning to control your reactions to your children's actions can help you feel in control and calm.

No, it is nearly impossible to predict every behavior your child displays. It helps to have a specific plan for common misbehavior problems. Having a planned reaction will help you remain in control and stress free when you have a plan unemotional reaction. Many times you are faced with a situation and do not have time to think about your response. If you have a plan, you will be able to approach the situation with calm knowing you have a planned reaction.

Know your limits as a parent and adult. Our reactions may be different on any given day depending on what day we have. Sometimes our child's actions will seem worse if we have had a bad day and feel stressed and upset. Little things that would normally not raise an eyebrow can turn into an ugly argument if you are stressed and your child does something to provoke you. Learn your limits! If you find yourself overreacting to something minor, put yourself in time-out!

You should know your children and help you know what reaction will hurt or help your child. Some children may be reduced to a crying heap of remorse by a stern word; others can throw it off and need a firmer hand in discipline. You know your child and what will hurt them and you can fine-tune your reactions tailored to each of your children. Knowing how your child reacts to certain situations will help you find the best way to stay in control. If your child falls apart when there is a change in their routine or at bedtime, you will need to look for ways to respond without losing control of your emotions or the situation.

It will help if you try to stay emotionally neutral when you are having problems with your child. Emotions can make you feel out of control, lead to an overreaction, or scare your child. Our children know which buttons they can push to get a strong reaction from you. If you are dealing with negative or bad behavior you need to stay unemotional. If you are unable to control your emotions at that moment, take yourself out of the situation and take time to regain control of your emotions.